January 7, 2018

New Resolutions, New Mantra

It's an hour and a half after the new year and I am in bed watching Spongebob after a long day at work spent brainstorming my resolutions. This year, I left them more vague this year because it leaves more room for growth and interpretation. I also find there's a difference between goals and resolutions, and this list contains baby steps that will aid in me entering 2018 on a better note.

Practice self-love and girl-love
I can be a negative, bitter, jealous lady and I'm leaving these conscious thoughts in 2017. I think some of these feelings are inevitable, however I can control them and choose not to act on them. Self-love means a few different things here including learning unwanted contacts from my phone, as well as taking control of my health. Girl-love is a simple act where I am choosing to empower my lady friends because they deserve it.

This doesn't mean beat myself up is I don't hit the gym. I also feel like this is such a cliche resolution, but I have really let myself put on a boatload of weight, and it's time to get rid of it. I even went to far as to get a gym membership, and I don't hate going to the gym *gasp*. I'm not going straight out of the gate into a new lifestyle. It's going to take baby steps. But, baby steps are still steps!

Say 'no' less, and say 'yes' more
2017 was the year of the homebody, and it caused me to miss out on a few things I would have liked to attend simply because I didn't feel like going out and I would rather be at home. In 2018, I would like to divide my spare time into a healthy amount of socializing and personal time. There is a list of things I would like to do and see this year, and conquer my FOMO once and for all. 

Take the next step in regards of a career and education
Two big goals: get out of retail, and begin graduate school. We're taking the next step this year.

Learn French fluently 
I took French for roughly five years, and I don't want that to go to waste. I'm going to spend some time this year practicing, maybe even attending some classes, and attempt to become fluent in reading and writing.

Submit for publication once a month
I've been working on more poems, thoroughly working on writing and editing something more intricate that I've written before. I'm feeling more confident in what I'm producing, and ready to start sharing it. I'd like to have a handful of pieces published this year, so I've decided to submit pieces for publication in the goal to get something published somewhere at least once a month.

Give more, take less
I put a lot of myself into my work, and I think this year I practiced selflessness more than previous years. However, I need to find a healthy median between being selfish and putting myself before others as an act of self-care. As I find this balance, I think I will be able to give more than I receive in several aspect and it will aid me in feeling self-fulfillment.

Clear your space and your mind
The best way to describe this year is that I felt as though I had 50 tabs open in my head, and I couldn't quite shut them. I felt similarly when I walked into my room, like I couldn't quite clear the floor. This year, I'm binging everything that is preventing clarity, and navigating a path to peace in my tangible life and in my head space.

Going into the new year, I also wanted to modify my way of thinking because 2017 was a brutal year of comparison and allowing people to make me feel bad about myself because I wasn't quite where they are. I don't want that to be my way of thinking anymore because that's not healthy for me. Therefore, I wanted to come into 2018 with a mantra; a new way of thinking:

This is so important to me, and this is one of the reasons I've started a journal for the year because I want to track my growth and things become more real to me when they are written down. They are no longer thoughts, they are tangible, and seeing this took a weight off of my shoulders. In 2018, the only person that I should be comparing myself to is myself because I am trying to grow an become a better person, and the only person who can change that is me.

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